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The Disintegrating Hope of Vanity

Her silence was deafening. We sat in the middle of a crowded coffee shop, enveloped in a chorus of slurping coffee drinkers and cackling carpool moms, yet all I could hear was her silence. The expressionless stare on her face told me everything. I had been found out.

Simple Joys of 2019

1. Cooking Anyone who knows me well knows I have a somewhat rocky relationship with cooking, but over this past year what once was a dreaded chore has started to become my newest creative outlet. These few resources have been the biggest contributors to my growing comfort in the kitchen: Salt, Fat, Acid, & Heat: […]

Tried and True: Needed Reminders for the Imperfect Hostess

Chili and cornbread is my go-to meal in the fall. It’s easy, it feeds many, and most ingredients can be kept on hand in the event that you have an unexpected guest. But best of all, it’s almost impossible to mess up. This is good news for a girl like me. I’ve been known to […]

Where to Find Lasting Faith

There is a cool and unwavering confidence I sense from people who have walked closely with God for decades longer than I have. It’s like speaking to someone about a mutual friend whom they happen to know far more intimately than I do. And after walking so closely with him they know his character, they […]

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The first time I went to the grocery store with needs that surpassed what I could realistically get, I felt sick to my stomach. I wound my way down each aisle weighing out necessities and anxiously calculating costs on my phone.
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Our first year of church planting involved a lot of conversations about whether our toilet paper could stretch long enough that we could afford eggs and chicken that week. We learned how to make $25 last a long time, and I’d be thrilled when a sales clerk would chase me down at the mall and offer me a free sample of face moisturizer. #selfcare 💁🏻‍♀️.
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Scarcity began to color our days and my anxiety wound it’s unwelcome grip over every decision we made. I’m not sure if any of you are feeling that today, but with grocery shelves emptying, risk of illness increasing, and jobs dwindling, I know waves of emotion are surely to rise.
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We learned so much in that seasons but here are a few anchoring truths that we are finding ourselves putting to good use these days:
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1️⃣God sacrificed the most ultimate thing, his Son, in the most horrific way, death on the cross, for us. So why would he not provide the most precious care for the one he gave so much for? (Romans 8:32)
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2️⃣God has already provided for us today everything we need for our present joy and happiness in him. If there was any other condition better suited for that he would have us there. (2 Peter 1:3)
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3️⃣Although our comfort, health, and financial security may not be secure, he is. His fidelity to his word has never been thwarted and he knows how to care for us best. (Proverbs 30:5, Psalm 23)
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As God slowly peeled each finger from my white knuckle grip on the shadow of control that season I learned that the moments we feel our grief most acutely, God is often laying the ground for some of his most beautiful acts in our lives.
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I’m praying that for us today church. 🙏May the Lord do wonders in our hearts during this time that we could have never seen otherwise.

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To all my fellow writers, creators, creatives, and thinkers,

Don’t despise seasons of obscurity.

What I mean by that is, don’t miss the beauty of depending when words are lost on you, abiding when you don’t know what to do next, and trusting when inspiration is concealed. These are some of the most precious moments in the Christian life.

I know for me it has felt crippling at times, when I feel like I have nothing to contribute. We live in a world that is constantly pumping out content and providing easier opportunities and wider avenues of expression than ever before. It is all too easy to demean our own uniqueness and just contribute to the noise, making ourselves indistinguishable from everyone else. This was never God’s design.

Creativity is not cheap. Words come at a cost—hours of hard, honest self-examination, seasons of providential intervention and necessary pain, periods of agonizing silence, and shuffled, dependent footsteps in the dark when lessons are clouded in ambiguity. This is what’s necessary to create.

So, don’t bypass the long road in order to be relevant. Don’t ignore the beauty of ordinary things because you want to discover the extraordinary. Remember, ingenuity, originality, and imagination should never be at our disposal at all times because these are all the result of abiding in the only One who truly creates something out of nothing.

And, lastly, don’t forget that you are an embodied person, called to inhabit the places, spaces, and spheres of influence right before your eyes. This may mean that creativity expresses itself at the dinner table or in your desk at school. It may mean your greatest moments of inspiration happen in your shower or the pick up line at school. It may mean your greatest contributions to this world are unobserved and undervalued in this life. God works in mysterious ways that are usually in opposition to the ways our cultural current flows, so keep a ready heart to observe his grace and a tethered mind to remember his sovereign and providential care over your life even when you can’t discern what to do with it.

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ONE! We welcomed Judson Elliot into the world one year ago today and discovered what we had been missing all these years. Judson adds so much laughter, joy, fun, and blessing to our family. We can’t imagine a world that doesn’t include him in it. Happy birthday Baby Jud! There is not a day that goes by that we don’t praise God for you. 🥳🎉🎈

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After two full months of on and off sickness, our family is officially sickness free and we are celebrating. Give us all the sunshine, play dates, or even a trip to the grocery store. Everything seems fun when you’ve been coupled up for so long. 🥳

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She is growing up at such a rapid rate these days. Lately we’ve been talking about everything from body image, morality, how things work, and why do things happen the way they do. Her fascination with the world and her unending desire to understand are reminding me that my little girl is increasingly becoming not so little anymore.
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😫Cue the tears.
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I have so many longings and desires for her as she grows but really I just care about one thing☝️: that she would know and love the Lord her God. And boy, nothing drives me to my knees in prayer more than this, because the reality is that salvation comes from the Lord (Psalm 37:39) not from me. 🙏What a relief and yet what a sobering truth.
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Sometimes I struggle with knowing just how to pray for my kids but I love what, John Piper, in his article, How We Pray For the Soul, said, “we learn to pray for the soul first from the way the Bible prays for the soul.” Genius. Here are some ways I’m learning to pray for my daughter today:
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1. Incline her heart to you and your word (Ps. 119:36 “incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain.”) and open the eyes of her heart so that when she does read/hear your word she can see and comprehend what is really there and not be clouded by her own interpretations (Ps. 119:18 “open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from your law.”)
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2. Cause her whole heart to be united to you (Ps. 96:11 teaches us to pray “O Lord, I will walk on your truth, unite my heart to fear your name.”) and may that result in genuine satisfaction in you and not in this world. (Ps. 90:14 “satisfy us in the morning with Thy steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”)
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3. Cause her satisfaction and joy in you to be strong and durable in the face of adversity. (Eph. 3:16 teaches us to pray “that [God] would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power through his spirit in the inner man.”) and may her strength in Christ produce good fruit that would bless others and ultimately bring glory to God. (Col. 1:10 teaches us to pray “that [we] will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord...bearing fruit in every good work.)

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Homegoing is the online home of Alyssa Poblete, a writer in Southern California.

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The Disintegrating Hope of Vanity

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