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Rethinking Hospitality

April 6, 2021 by Alyssa Poblete Leave a Comment

The week we got home from our honeymoon, Chris and I bought a memory foam topper for our bed. We had graduated from our sturdy twin mattresses onto a single California king, and the vision of endless hours of comfortable sleep made us giddy—hands down one of the best purchases we made early on. Over the years that mattress topper bore the weight of multiple pregnancies and children climbing into our bed. It memorized the shape of our bodies and, over time, gently molded to the many iterations of our sleeping patterns. These indentations have somehow become impossible to undo as the years go on, which presents a problem when you find yourself no longer pregnant and sinking into the grooves your body once formed. I think it’s about time we got a new topper. 

The other day I mentioned on Instagram how the church needs a renewed theology of hospitality in order to sustain through the moments sacrifice and struggle enter in, which is inevitable. Just like those deep grooves that are impossible to undo in our mattress topper, a theology of hospitality forms deep convictions that inform our patterns and our pleasures, regardless of the circumstances. 

So, what is a theology of hospitality? 

It begins with understanding who God is. Before anything ever existed, he did. God spoke and creation unfurled before him teeming up as a grand display of his glory. From the moment mankind took its first breath we were guests in God’s world. From the beginning, God has always presented himself as a welcoming host, desiring to feast with his children. Over and over again the theme of invitation and feasting come up in the scriptures and over and over again mankind checks “no” on the RSVP and ops to dine at a different table. 

Because of this, mankind was exiled out of the garden and sent to indulge in the feast of destruction, but the Lord has never ceased from desiring us as guests. The Bible is replete with reminders that God always looks at his people fundamentally through the lens of desire. This doesn’t mean his anger doesn’t burn over over sin, but that he also grieves over it. He has always, and still does, desire us as guests. 

Greg Thompson points out that the absence of this conviction—the inability to see the world as God’s desired guest—leaves us with no idea what to do with the world. Historically, the church has responded in a few unhealthy ways:

  1. Treating the world primarily as enemies. With this posture, the church makes its primary posture one of fortifying its walls, policing its boarders, and withdrawing from the culture. This ignores the very heart of God, to welcome his children back to his table. 
  2. Focusing more on accommodation for the sake of peace. With this posture, the church makes its primary vocation one of acceptance. This is problematic because while we do share a lot in common with our neighbors, our neighbors do not yet have a seat at God’s table. This ignores the very heart of God, to call them away from the table of the world and into the true feast and union with him. 
  3. Focusing efforts on domination. With this posture, the church seeks to win. This is problematic because it treats the neighbor as a personal project rather than a welcomed guest. 

Instead, the church is not called to hide from, accomodate, or dominate others. We are called to something far more beautiful, to invite them to the banquet of God’s everlasting grace. This is the primary vocation of the church as we take part in the renewal of God’s world through hospitality.

Here’s something worth noting though, while it is an honorable task, it will look incredibly mundane. It will look like dishes piled high in the sink, late nights comforting people in their pain, a million small conversations interrupted by skinned knees and broken toys, and an incredibly unglamourous home-cooked meal. Hospitality is a long seemingly mundane obedience in the same direction for the sake of God’s glory and it is worth every ounce of our care.

Here are some resources worth digging into from people that are far more eloquent and thoughtful than me on the subject.

A great book on the subject: The Gospel Comes With a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield. Or if you don’t have a ton of time here’s a video talk by the author.

That talk by Greg Thompson that most of my thoughts were informed by. This is a must watch: The Hospitality of Christ for a Secular Age

If you only have a bit of time, I loved this article by Jen Wilkin: Why Hospitality Beats Entertaining

Filed Under: Gather, Uncategorized

Link Love for Weary Hearts

April 14, 2020 by Alyssa Poblete Leave a Comment

There is a lot of noise right now. I definitely don’t want to add to that.

However, there have been a few voices that have managed to cut through the chatter and speak things worthy of our fierce attention. My prayer is that these encourage you as much as they have me.

I’ve hesitated to share because—here’s the thing—we are all coming at this from a multitude of different luxuries, economic situations, responsibilities, and personal losses; so none of this experience is universal. But I’m realizing there is one thing that unites all of us, we all need a hope beyond our circumstances.

So that’s what most of this is devoted to, with a few little fun things as well. If you are feeling overwhelmed by input, don’t feel the need to read on. But if you, like me, are longing for some perspective, these are for you.

This Prayer by Doug McKelvey: I stumbled across this prayer early on in my quarantine and keep coming back to it. I love this line:

“…When the cacophony of universal distress unsettles us, remind us that we are but small and finite creatures, never designed to carry the vast abstractions of great burdens, for our arms are too short and our strength too small. Justice and mercy, healing and redemption, are your great labors…”

This Podcast: I’ve been listening to this podcast for a while now. David Platt simply picks a Bible verse and prays through it. Lately he’s been praying through the Book of Psalms, specifically praying over various aspects of this pandemic. It’s helped provide me with a language for my prayer life and informed me on specific things to be praying for.

This Poem: Blase gives needed perspective in the haze of everything vying for our attention.

This Book: I am so grateful this was written. Piper gives a clear and biblical perspective that cuts through all the noise and speaks from the wisdom of Scripture. I love what Piper says early on in this book: “scarcely a page in the Bible is irrelevant for this crisis.” And bonus: the ebook and audiobook are free.

This Podcast Episode (For the Schooling From Home Parent): There have been a million resources thrown at parents on how to school from home well. I don’t know about you, but while many of them have been helpful, I’ve also caught myself feeling so overwhelmed by the breadth of endless possibilities and lack of vision. This podcast lays out a few basic foundations for schooling-from-home parents. Ruth and Troy have been homeschooling for years and share both how the Bible bears weight on how we view our child’s education and some honest reflections on how they implement grace while they educate. (Also, this entire podcast has been super helpful for us. Chris and I are starting to set aside one night a week to date night in while we listen to each episode, and then we discuss).

Also, I made a playlist, Songs for Weary Hearts, for you guys if you’re interested.

And now for something a bit lighthearted:

This past year, a lot of my creative energy has been poured out over the stove, learning new genres of food and practicing basic techniques in cooking. When the first week of quarantine hit and there were scarcely any basics on the shelves, I figured my joy in cooking would need to take a back seat for a while, but to my surprise it’s become my favorite creative endeavor yet. I loved this quote in a new book I’m reading,

“in a period of abundance any half-wit with a spoon can please a palate. To truly test a chef’s ingenuity, one must instead look to a period of want.”

With that said here are a few voices in cooking that I’m grateful for right now:

This podcast, by one of my favorite cookbook authors, is completely devoted to assisting the home cook during quarantine.

These two Instagram profiles: Ina Garten and Chef Dev are both devoting time to teaching people how to cook from home, specifically with foods that are somewhat easy to come by.

Also, I will never stop singing Sarah Forte’s praises. I belong to her Sprouted Kitchen Cooking Club and she’s sending recipes once a week that are approachable but still challenging. Since you have more time at home, this might be a good time to experiment a bit. Last night I made her Coconut Crusted Chicken Sliders with Avocado Crema…So dang good!

Anyways, I hope these voices bring you each the encouragement they have brought me. Here’s my prayer for each of you: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13).

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Simple Joys of 2019

December 31, 2019 by Alyssa Poblete 2 Comments

1. Cooking

Anyone who knows me well knows I have a somewhat rocky relationship with cooking, but over this past year what once was a dreaded chore has started to become my newest creative outlet. These few resources have been the biggest contributors to my growing comfort in the kitchen:

Salt, Fat, Acid, & Heat: I’m not talking about the documentary series on Netflix (although that is wonderful), but Samin Nosrat’s book, which has been one of the most helpful tools I have picked up this year. Nosrat’s primary goal is not to merely deliver ingredients and recipes; instead, she is out to teach the very basic elements of cooking, equipping the reader with enough baseline knowledge to confidently make their own chef-worthy decisions in the kitchen.

Bon Appetite: This has mostly been for enjoyment, but Bon Appetite’s magazine is filled with not only with great recipe ideas and hacks but also incredible writing. They also have a great podcast and Youtube channel, which they often link together, so it’s fun to learn a recipe through several different mediums.

Sprouted Kitchen Cooking Club: I couldn’t talk about my growth in cooking without mentioning Sara Forte and her cooking club, Sprouted Kitchen. Forte is a local mom in Orange County and an accomplished cookbook author who created a weekly meal planning subscription service. Her meals are healthy, delicious, complex, and attainable all at the same time. My family loves them, and it’s helped me really broaden my experience in the kitchen.

2. Podcasts

The primary place where I learn these days is through podcasts. There are so many favorites, but the following few stick out the most from this year:

Journeywomen: Hunter Beless is one of my favorite podcasters mostly because she doesn’t present herself as the expert but in her humility and curiosity finds the right people to discuss various topics pertaining to Christian life. Two of the episodes that had the most significant impact on me were Ep.57 Wisely Using Technology with Tony Reinke & Ep. 74: The Will of God with Jen Wilkin.

Coffee & Crumbs: A must for any of you moms out there. There are a million reasons I love this podcast but primarily it’s chock full of tangible takeaways, hilariously relatable stories, and honest expressions of what it’s like being in the trenches of motherhood. My favorites are any of their “This Is How We Do…” episodes, and I also really loved Ep. 69: Motherhood & Minimalism, Ep. 76: Being a Good Friend in Hard Seasons & their two part series on sex is great too.

Knowing Faith: This is helpful for anyone trying to grow in their knowledge of the scriptures. They handle topics with clarity and thoroughness. (Favorite Episodes: Ep. 30: How to Read Your Bible & Ep. 39: Humble Calvinism)

3. Reading for Enjoyment

Since college I’ve primarily used reading as an outlet for increasing my knowledge on a particular topic, but this year I’ve picked up books just for the pleasure of reading again. I’ve been introduced to some beautiful and fascinating stories along the way. My favorite this year was Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover. Her story is both heartbreaking and humbling, and her storytelling skills are beautiful.

4. Analog Planner

I have been using this analog planner for two years now, and although my friends kind of poke fun at me for this, I swear by it. While writing on a calendar is somewhat of an obsolete practice by some, I have benefitted from it in a number of ways: 1) the act of writing out my plans lodges them in my memory (we have all heard the benefits of writing, but I can also nowpersonally attest to this), 2) I regularly and yearly review how I’ve been using my time. I use these colored post it notes to color code our activities and regularly do a mini self-assessment to glance over my calendar and assess how we are doing as a family, gauge how I’m doing personally, and consider what we could be eliminating or giving more of our time to. It’s not shown in the photo above, but I also try to use my planner to track my personal disciplines or habits that I’m trying to incorporate (exercise, Bible reading, sleep, etc) to help me better assess sources of burnout or increased energy. Here is how I color code our calendar:

Pink: Family Time/ Date Time

Orange: Important Appointments or Deadlines

Blue: Hosting at Home

Yellow: Going out, Events, Parties, Being with People, Etc.

Green: Birthdays, Holidays, Anniversaries, Etc.

5. Instagram for Learning

Many of us have a love/hate relationship with social media, and I can relate. Lately I’ve been trying to scale down who I’m giving my attention to. Rather than getting rid of social media altogether, I have been really benefitting from a few people who have been using their social feeds well. Here are a few of my favorites:

Phylicia Masonheimer: Masonheimer is a Bible teacher who primarily focuses on teaching her followers how to develop their spiritual muscles in biblical discernment. She encourages her readers to use God’s word to form opinions and engage in respectful dialogue with other believers. I don’t always agree with where she lands, but she models for me how to have a respectful and helpful dialogue with Christians across the entire theological spectrum by relying on God’s word as the primary source.

Ruth Chou Simons: Ruth is one of my favorite writers on Instagram. She is thoughtful, heartwarming, and honest in her posts. She doesn’t hide the tough stuff, but still loves to capture beauty and truth and holds those things in balance really well.

Valerie Woerner: I love Valerie because she is full of tips and encouragement in developing a healthy and consistent prayer life, organization hacks for the home, and random thoughts on productivity, motherhood, and life as a Christian.

Well-Watered Women: I’ve been following Well-watered women for quite some time now and it’s consistently been a space that encourages me to get in the Word regularly.

6. Best Purchases

Mooji Gel Ink Pens: This is totally nerdy but my husband and I are obsessed with these pens from Japan, and they have become the only pens we write with now.

Running Accessories: I’ve picked up running again, and these headphones and this running fanny pack have been game changers for me.

Travel Makeup Case: This travel make up bag is my favorite because it keeps everything organized and easy to find.

Milk Frother: This milk frother has totally changed my experience with coffee at home. I rarely go out for coffee anymore because of it.

Phone Case: This phone case is top quality and was so cheap. It came with a screen protector as well.

Lunch Box: We got this lunchbox for Geneva and love packing her lunch in it. For cute and healthy ideas for lunches check out @parkfamilylunchbox.

Scripture Memory Cards: I learned of these from Hunter Beless from Journeywomen. I love that they’re affordable, easy to fit in a purse, and keep me in the habit of writing which helps with memory.

7. Bible Study Tools

There is nothing that drives me to my deepest joy than getting into God’s Word. Reading the Bible can be intimidating, but these tools have been immensely helpful to me:

Chronological Reading Plan: I love this reading plan so much because you read through the Bible according to the historical timeline of events. I have found this the most helpful as I seek to piece together the overall storyline of Scripture. A friend and I are committing to reading it together this year. Anyone want to join us?

Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament: This small devotional has been such a helpful tool to read alongside my normal Bible reading. I don’t usually follow it by date but more by where I am in the Bible. Nancy Guthrie does such an incredible job examining how all of scripture points to Jesus.

The Bible Project: The Bible Project has created animated videos for each book of the Bible that explain how the entire Bible is one unified story. I watch these whenever I’m feeling a little lost or confused of context of what I’m reading.

Abide Method From Risen Motherhood: Risen Motherhood offers a ton of great resources but I really appreciate these worksheets in particular. They are helpful in providing a simple structure for reading.

8. Best Purchases For Kids

Magna-tiles: My kids literally play with these every single day and they can keep at it for hours. I also loved this idea from @katieprouty to play with Magna-tiles on the metal garage door. P.S. Haddon definitely dressed himself for this photo.

Best New Books: How Much Is a Little Girl Worth? by Rachel Denhollander, God’s Very Good Idea by Trillia Newbell, God Made All of Me by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

Music: Be Held: Christy Knockles lullaby album is beautiful to listen to (and she also has an instrumental version). Journeywomen Kids Playlist: These songs are enjoyable for both me and the kids. Sing: Creation Songs by Ellie Holcomb is on repeat in our car and the kids love singing along.

Art for Kids Youtube Channel: Technically not a purchase, but a great free resource. Geneva loves to draw and since art classes are out of the budget right now this Youtube channel has been the next best thing. Although some of the drawings are a bit too advanced for her age there are a ton that she’s able to do and the ones she can’t she watches and learns or uses it as an inspiration point.

Filed Under: Savor

Tried and True: Needed Reminders for the Imperfect Hostess

August 21, 2018 by Alyssa Poblete 1 Comment

Chili and cornbread is my go-to meal in the fall. It’s easy, it feeds many, and most ingredients can be kept on hand in the event that you have an unexpected guest. But best of all, it’s almost impossible to mess up. This is good news for a girl like me. I’ve been known to make birthday cake that turned out looking like a third grade science experiment, sweet potato casserole that looked like it belonged in the toilet rather than the Thanksgiving table, and I’ve misread a lasagna recipe that resulted in my buying twenty packets of meatloaf seasoning mix, thinking it was some sort of freeze dried meat (yes, that’s true, but that’s a story for another day). If you’ve been graced with meals at the Poblete home, I know you’re laughing right now, because you know how true this is.

Cooking for people in our home has felt similar to what I imagine attempting to master a perfect swing in golf feels like. It has required the art of learning through imperfection and failure. There have been some great successes peppered throughout some embarrassing mishaps. All along the way I’ve been forced to confront my counterfeit understanding of what true hospitality looks like.

For me, good hospitality meant a well-cooked meal and a welcoming home. Growing up, I always pictured my adult-self being the epitome of housewife perfection. I envisioned elegantly decorated tablescapes and thoughtfully curated gourmet meals. I anticipated an open door policy where anyone was welcome to come and stay until whenever because our house would always stay immaculately clean and I would always have fresh baked cookies cooling on the counter and homemade granola in the pantry in case anyone decided to stay overnight. What else would I do with all the time on my hands?

The first time we ever hosted a dinner party in our home though, I was confronted with the reality that I was far off the mark I had set. We lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment. The main living space was crammed with a random assortment of folding tables and metal chairs with mismatched tablecloths and paper plates (because we didn’t have enough of the real stuff to serve more than six at a time). I remember feeling so connected to the dishes I was cooking and the environment I was creating. It felt like an extension of myself and I instantly felt vulnerable, exposed, and determined to impress. Everything seemed to go wrong that night. Dinner was two hours late (who knew vegetables took so long to chop)? The chicken was overcooked, the dipping sauce was missing a key ingredient that left it tasting bland and looking like a greenish-yellowish mystery, and at the end of the night I discovered that I had neglected to clean the bathroom which meant the mirror was covered in water spots and the sink had bits of dried blue toothpaste stuck to the bottom of it. Yuck.

Over the years I’ve been given many more opportunities to open wide our doors and welcome people into our home. In fact, church planting has made this a part of everyday life for our family. While this hasn’t resulted in any well-trained skills in the art of entertainment or cuisine, it has served as the school of sanctification that the Lord has used to awaken me to the beauty of biblical hospitality.

In our home, there have been many underwhelming meals shared over a simple table with an assortment of dear friends that wept before us, laughed alongside us, and chatted with us well past our bedtimes. Along the way, we have made it a practice to rehearse the true meaning of hospitality again and again because our hearts can so often miss the whole point. Here are a few things we try to remind ourselves often:

People are not looking to be impressed, they are longing for a place to belong.

In our culture, the words “hospitality” and “entertainment” can be used interchangeably but they couldn’t be more different. While there is nothing wrong with cooking a delicious meal or creating a beautiful tablescape, the motive behind these efforts is what makes these two words categorically different. Something I try to ask myself often is, “what do I hope our friends will feel when they walk into our home?” and “what do I hope to leave them with when we part?” Hospitality is not about impressing others, it’s about serving others. Shauna Niquest said it best, “Hospitality is when someone leaves your home feeling better about themselves, not better about you…hospitality is about serving, not performing; creating space, not taking the stage; being with, not showing off for.”

Be present and practice the art of asking good questions.

Having a hospitable disposition means being more about the person across from you than you are about yourself. In our home, we have tried to lead our conversations with a lot of initiating questions. It is far too easy to dole out advice, make quick assumptions, or try to find areas of relatability so that we can share our own experience. It is much harder to ask good questions that pursue the heart and foster genuine understanding. Some questions that we find ourselves asking often are: “what is an attribute of God that has been encouraging your heart in the midst of this?,” “how did that make you feel?,” “what is this teaching you about yourself?,” or “how is the gospel comforting you right now?”

Hospitality is a family ministry.

When our oldest started talking we were confronted with a new challenge, conversation with others is really difficult with a toddler around. With two children 3 and under, our house is a noisy chorus of giggles, whining, screeches, and chatter. There have been many interrupted conversations, meltdowns at the dinner table, and so many messes to clean up. At times it feels far too easy to flip on the television or send the kids to grandma and grandpa’s for the night. While it can be nice to have adult conversation from time to time, a lifestyle of hospitality means you are inviting others into your home and into your life. It’s not only a benefit to those being welcomed but also for our children to learn how to welcome others into their home. Our children have had to learn to share their toys with new friends, greet newcomers at the door, share in conversation with strangers at the dinner table, and make friends with people three times their age. Hospitality is one of the first ways that our children have been gifted with the opportunity to serve the local church and it has stretched all of us in good ways.

Invite the outsider in.

In Jen Wilkin’s article, Why Hospitality Beats Entertaining, she identifies the primary way we can see our motivations in hospitality fleshed out. Wilkin says:

Only the [hospitable] would invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind to pull up a chair and sip from the stemware (Luke 14:12–14). Our motives are revealed not just in how we set our tables, but in who we invite to join us at the feast. Entertaining invites those whom it will enjoy. Hospitality takes all comers.

One of the ways we try to invite the outsider in is by having people in our home that are nothing like us. Our dinner table has been filled with people of different generations, ethnicities, religious leanings, upbringing, and life stages on a regular basis.

Rhythms of retreat and rest are necessary for good hospitality.

We cannot be truly hospitable if we are not first sitting with the one who has been hospitable to us. We did not belong in God’s place, but he made a way to invite us to feast at his table. Not only did he invite us to his table, but, through his Son, he made us a part of his family. Just as Jesus often retreated to be with his Father, or found time to be with his twelve closest friends, all the more we should fight for time like this ourselves.

For our family, this means that we have set up regular rhythms in our lives that include days where we don’t have people over so that we have space for togetherness with one another and space for our own private devotional life. Hospitality is not always convenient and will be unexpected at times. We can’t always be rigid with our schedule but we try to make a point to pencil in days of family time, alone time, and date time.

On weeks where our schedule has unexpectedly been filled with lots of hosting we will make sure the following week has time blocked off for just us. There are also seasons where hospitality may be less consistent than others or look different. For example, in this season of pregnancy, I’ve been really sick, which means we are eating out a lot more and inviting others to join along.

All of the things I just shared are merely encouragements that have tethered our family back to the root of why we are doing what we do. I have them written on a crumpled piece of paper that I go back to again and again. Like a tried and true recipe for biblical hospitality. It is smattered with an assortment of colors from the various dishes I’ve cooked in the past. It tells the story of a woman who is desperate to remember the whole point. I’ve missed it more times than I’d like to admit. Again and again, they have given this imperfect hostess a lot of hope.

While my skills in the kitchen still have a lot of room to grow, there have been several recipes that I find myself going back to repeatedly because they are almost impossible to mess up and always taste yummy. This Three Bean Chili is one of them.

 

Three Bean Chili from Whole & Heavenly Oven

The first time I made this recipe was for my daughter’s second birthday party. We made three batches to serve about 20-25 people and they licked the pots dry. What I love about this chili recipe is it’s got a bit of a kick but it’s not too spicy for kids. Best of all, it tastes even better if you serve it the day after you make it which means you can cook it up in advance which is always a plus.

Ingredients

  • 1 pound lean ground beef
  • 1 medium onion diced
  • 1 jalapeno pepper seeded and minced
  • 2 tablespoons chili powder
  • 2 teaspoons brown sugar
  • 1 ⁄4 to 1⁄2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 ⁄2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1 ⁄4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 14 ounce can fire-roasted diced tomatoes
  • 1 15 ounce can tomato sauce
  • 1 6 ounce can tomato paste
  • 1 1 ⁄2 cups water
  • 1 cup beef broth
  • 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1 15 ounce can light red kidney beans
  • 1 15 ounce can chickpeas
  • 1 15 ounce can black beans
  • 1 ⁄2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 ⁄4 teaspoon black pepper
  • Toppings: shredded cheese sour cream, onion, olives, cilantro (choose which ones you want)

Instructions

  • Cook ground beef and onion in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat until meat is no longer meat and onion is softened. While it cooks, use a wooden spoon to crumble the meat into small chunks.
  • Add jalapeno, chili powder, brown sugar, cayenne pepper, cumin, and garlic powder. Cook for 1 minute, stirring to mix everything and toast the spices.
  • Add diced tomato, tomato sauce, tomato paste, water, and beef broth. Simmer uncovered for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. If too thick, add a little more water or beef broth.
  • Add beans and salt and pepper and simmer for 5 more minutes. Serve with desired toppings.

Yield: 4-6 servings

Filed Under: Savor Tagged With: hospitality

Where to Find Lasting Faith

August 6, 2018 by Alyssa Poblete Leave a Comment

There is a cool and unwavering confidence I sense from people who have walked closely with God for decades longer than I have. It’s like speaking to someone about a mutual friend whom they happen to know far more intimately than I do. And after walking so closely with him they know his character, they have seen his word ring true time and again, and have sensed his fidelity to them through all the seasons of change. They trust him.

Although they speak with great faith, they aren’t exempt from pain or hardship and never pretend to be. These are friends who are battling cancer, loss of a spouse, infertility, wayward children, financial stress, and caring for a loved one who has long since lost their faculties to mental decay.

Their words of hopefulness and assurance are not merely platitudes they recite to others to avoid the harshness of reality. No, their confidence is something tangible, familiar, and hard-won.

In the wake of losing his spouse, a friend once said to me, “Alyssa, God has been faithful to me thus far, and he will be faithful to me until the end. I have no doubt that he is still good.” I’ve often asked these friends of mine how they can respond with such an unmoving sense of assurance in light of the hardness of their circumstances. Many have often insisted that this confidence comes in waves, repeated reminders that God is really as big and powerful as he has been in the past. But that they are not exempt from moments of doubt. The thing that has always bolstered them up though, given them a more solid and unwavering confidence, has been a consistent and aggressive pursuit of knowing God. The more they know him, the more they can say, “thy will be done,” because they have tasted and seen that he is better than anything else their hearts may desire. I long for this kind of faith.

What my friends have taught me is that the pathway to great trust is not to ignore the realities of life, nor is it to blindly agree to trust in some unknown source of good. To trust in someone or something you must know the character of the one being trusted.

Over the past year, some friends and I started a challenge called the #biblestorychallenge. Our goal: simply to read through the whole Bible from cover to cover for the purpose of understanding the overall storyline of scripture—to grasp the unifying plot that weaves itself through every book. Our hope is to know Him more.

What I love is that the Bible is not just a nice story, it is a history that has marked the character of our God for centuries. What I didn’t realize when I started this challenge was how real, tangible, and confident my faith would become from rehearsing God’s faithfulness to others.  I have seen who he was to the to the wayward and sinful Israelites, the rebellious and passionate King David, the confused and longing Abraham and Sarah, the ignored and silenced prophets, the locked up and abandoned Joseph, the timid and unfaithful disciples. To all of them, he was faithful.

Over the years I have often feared the reality that the great common denominator among all of us is that we live in a fallen world, where we will meet trials of various kinds. We are guaranteed hardship in unique ways, no one is exempt. But we are also guaranteed a faithful God.

This is why Bible intake is so necessary. I love how Jen Wilkin said it recently: “Devotional reading is like chamomile tea—a soothing drink before slumber. But no one drinks chamomile tea before going to war. We need stronger drink to combat the world, the flesh, and the devil. We need battle cries as well as lullabies. We need the full counsel of Scripture.”

So brothers and sisters, feast on his word. Pour over its pages and watch with eager eyes as God proves his faithfulness to you. “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him” (Proverbs 30:5).

Filed Under: Grow

The Disintegrating Hope of Vanity

July 29, 2018 by Alyssa Poblete 2 Comments

Her silence was deafening. We sat in the middle of a crowded coffee shop, enveloped in a chorus of slurping coffee drinkers and cackling carpool moms, yet all I could hear was her silence. The expressionless stare on her face told me everything. I had been found out.

There is a lot of thoughtful work that goes into masquerading as someone you are not. Hours of careful study are required to create a veneer of maturity. The appropriate lingo must be used to ensure you don’t say anything that would give yourself away. Personal conversations must be prepared for in advance. Smiling is key and, occasionally, a well-appointed tear shed will dismantle any concern that this is just a facade. I worked hard at delicately crafting what appeared to be a “faithful” life. But the scary thing is, it was only the appearance of faithfulness; I had no idea that it was all just a masquerade.

What I thought I had found was theological maturity. Books, sermons, podcasts—you name it, I wanted to get my hands on it. I felt proud as long as I was just a few steps ahead of others on theological hot-topics and remained informed on the latest controversy stirring in Christian subculture. I prided myself in reading the dead theologians of the past and loved studying God’s word for the gain of knowledge. Lofty theological lingo, praying the most biblical sounding prayers, and attending every Bible study offered made me feel like I had a vibrant personal relationship with God, and I loved when others noticed it.  But I couldn’t shake the gnawing sense that I was missing the whole point. My private devotional life in God’s Word was severely malnourished, my prayer life was pretty much non-existent, and my words rarely matched what was really going on in my heart. I was a mile wide and an inch deep. And I was terrified of being found out.

My friend had just thrown me a curve ball—a question I had not prepared myself for—“What does your private relationship with God look like? Describe it to me.” I grasped for the right words, a garbled mess of theological jargon spilled out of my mouth. It didn’t quite answer the question, but I felt like it was sufficient to distract and, at the very least, allow us to move on. She was unimpressed and unwilling to retreat. She asked again, this time with more force.

Panic began to set in as I gripped the broken pieces of my carefully crafted self and held them in place. After taking a moment to think, I gave a more sufficient answer. She stared at me in silence, unmoved. I knew she could see right through me. But thankfully, she acquiesced and the conversation changed course. Victory. I expelled a hurried sigh of relief, but it wasn’t quite satisfying. I had come scarily close to being exposed. That day, as I left the coffee shop, I felt completely exhausted. Pretending to be someone you are not is the most laborious work there is.

Since the dawn of time, this has been man’s struggle. God clothed his people in his image and crowned them with the highest form of dignity in creation, calling them his children. But over and over again, his people have looked for their identity in all the wrong places. Our first parents grasped for the dangling fruit of significance in the garden, Cain fought for it with his brother, Israel searched for it in the wilderness, judges starved for it in places of honor. Every time they came up empty. Years later, I myself  would fall for the fatal lie that acceptance and applause from others would satisfy my longings. God’s people have gotten it backwards in a million different ways for centuries. They have doubted their God-given identity and instead grabbed for the glimmering hope of vanity.

King Saul is one of the most classic examples of someone who got it royally backwards. God had appointed Saul as king over his chosen people and entrusted him with great earthly dignity. If anyone did have a reason to trust in their significance it was him. However, Saul still felt the need to prove he was something special.

As God’s chosen king and image-bearer, he was called to simply obey the commands of God. Saul received very specific instructions—go and completely destroy the Amalekite nation. This included livestock, possessions, people, rulers—every precious thing that made the Amalekites who they were. It was so clear. But how did Saul respond? He went went and destroyed most, but not all. He kept the Amalekite king, Agag, and the best of the livestock. When he deemed his work complete, he “set up a monument for himself” (1 Samuel 15:12) and proudly told the prophet Samuel, “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord, I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me” (1 Samuel 15:20). Sure he stood in the midst of a chorus of bleating sheep and lowing oxen—the very livestock he was called to completely wipe out—but that was only because he saved the best for the Lord. And yes, a quivering king was spared, but he’s locked in chains and held as prisoner. Saul thought God would be pleased by the great sacrifices he made, but God was not. He saw Saul’s partial obedience as complete and utter disobedience.

It was painfully obvious. This was not the Lord’s work. This was for Saul’s own gain. Samuel pointed out to Saul that God doesn’t delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices if the pathway to get there is peppered with perversity. “Behold,” Samuel exhorted, “to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams” (1 Samuel 15:22b). True, genuine, heartfelt obedience is far better than great acts of perceived faithfulness.

Saul’s relentless ambition to boost his significance required him to refashion God’s commands to suit his own needs. Samuel, struck with utter disbelief, reminded Saul:

Although you may think little of yourself, are you not the leader of the tribes of Israel? The LORD has anointed you king of Israel. And the LORD sent you on a mission and told you, ‘Go and completely destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, until they are all dead.’ Why haven’t you obeyed the LORD? Why did you rush for the plunder and do what was evil in the LORD’s sight?” (15:17-19).

Saul thought so little of himself that he looked to the world around to ascribe to him the significance he so longed for. “I have sinned,” Saul shamefully admitted, “for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice” (1 Samuel 15:24). Saul was mistaken. He thought the people’s admiration was the prize so he brought home the plunder of the Amalekites to show the watching world that he had material wealth. He captured the Amalekite king to display his great feats of strength and power. And he kept for himself the best of the livestock for a sacrifice to prove to the people that he was God’s chosen man. Saul sought to escape his smallness by making himself great with his own hands.

What Saul failed to realize was that his search for dignity and worth would never be fully satisfied in people’s praise and respect. He was looking for value and meaning in the wrong place. In fact, he was blinded to the reality that this value he so longed for was already given to him as a gift from God; and instead of wielding it with humility, he squandered it with pride.  As a result, the kingdom of Israel was ripped away from his hands (1 Samuel 15:28) and most horrifying—God’s Spirit left Saul (1 Samuel 16:14).

For centuries, God’s people continued to make the same dreadful mistake. Thinking they could do it better, they sought out short cuts and bypassed God’s ways in an attempt to perform for the watching world. This was my alarming condition that day at the coffee shop. Just as Saul so desperately wanted to prove his faithfulness, I wanted my friend to see mine.

The tragic thing about my story is I didn’t understand how awful my condition was. Like Saul, who pointed to all the righteous acts he had done and felt assured he was okay, I filled my life with so many good things I felt like whatever was lacking was permissible. There was a disconnect, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was seriously wrong with this picture. What I failed to realize was that in my attempt at “doing the Christian thing,” I was missing the real prize and settling for the disintegrating hope of approval. My friend’s long, unmoving stare exposed me, and for the first time I realized—I was in a love affair with myself. I wanted my righteousness to be seen by many far more than I wanted to walk the hard road of genuine faith.

Saul was in a similar position—talking to a friend, trying to prove his fidelity—but his friend Samuel was not convinced and lovingly uncovered his shameful condition. For a moment in Saul’s story it seems that he has taken a turn, repented of his foolish ways, and gained clarity on what genuine worship looks like. He responds with what looks like faithfulness. Yet, as the story continues, we see Saul perpetually seeking to protect his image, prove his worth, and avoid any threat of exposure.

One of his greatest threats was David, the one God had appointed to succeed him as king. David was the real deal, “A man after God’s own heart.” His very presence brought Saul’s lack of authenticity to light. Just like my friend in the coffee shop, David exposed something in Saul—God’s Spirit was not with him. So, Saul spent the rest of his days working with a vengence to put an end to David. His life was characterized by an endless pursuit to protect his image.

I’d like to say that I was different than Saul. I’d like to say when I walked out of the coffee shop that day my whole life changed, but it didn’t. Instead, I despised the feeling of exposure and worked a little harder at mending the weak areas in my rhetoric. It would take a long road, peppered with lots of comforts removed and desires unmet, for me to realize that I was chasing after the wrong thing. Through hardship, God lovingly exposed my faulty foundation and proved to me that he really was better than the charade I had been playing for so long.

Since the beginning, God’s people have been prone to make this fatal mistake, lose their way, and settled for a shadow of the real thing. I did and if I’m being honest I still do sometimes. This world is filled with a multitude of voices claiming they have what we want. But they always underdeliver. Corrie Ten Boom once said, “trying to do the Lord’s work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, and tedious of all work” —the reward is measly at best, the requirements to carry on as someone else are costly, and ultimately the pathway leads to sure disappointment.

But here is the good news: a greater king than Saul, and even David, would come. This king, though he was great, made himself small and lived in perfect obedience of his Heavenly Father. Rather than clinging to wealth, power, and acceptance, he laid those aside and gave up his life as a ransom for many. He did not have monetary comfort, political strength, or wild success among his peers during his short stint on Earth. In fact, he would live a lifetime being despised and rejected by men. But unlike Saul, whose throne was removed, King Jesus sits on his throne forever as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And when he died he paid for our wandering ways with his blood so that we could taste the satisfaction only he can provide. There is nothing greater than enjoying all that God has promised to be for us in Jesus Christ. No powerful position, no wild applause, no unquestioning acceptance will make up for the lack of him. Don’t get this backwards brothers and sisters, your joy in this life depends on it.

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Haddon took me on a date this morning. He bought m Haddon took me on a date this morning. He bought me a vanilla latte from my favorite coffee shop, took me to the petting zoo, humored me with endless rounds of “Would You Rather,” and talked about his goals for the summer (which include convincing @chrispoblete and I to get him a hamster 🤦🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️😬). The entire time he kept saying, “I just want to do what you want to do mom. It’s your day.” He’s going to make one amazing husband someday, but for now I’m soaking him up all for myself. 😍
Parenthood requires a whole lot of grit and grace Parenthood requires a whole lot of grit and grace these days. It is hard work and even our best efforts leave us face to face with our lack at the end of the day. We have weeks where the physical and emotional demands mean that we hardly get a chance to exchange a few intelligible words to one another. But we do get a whole lot of time to observe each other and I’ve never gotten a better picture of your character than I do now.
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I catch you laughing at our kid’s corny jokes and jumping in whenever they throw an impromptu dance party. Scratch that, I see you initiating impromptu dance parties even on the days you’re exhausted. I see you taking time to stop and answer every “why” question even though it would be so much easier to say “because I said so.” I see you working late into the night just so you can join us for family dinner, even though I try to insist you get your work done so you can get a good night’s sleep. I love watching you teach our kids about Jesus and how you take the time to explain even the hard things that would be so much easier to bypass for some other day when they’re older. You are unflinching in your resolve to be a present parent and show up even when it requires so much sacrifice to do so.
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The hard parts of parenting are often unseen and unapplauded but I see you and I couldn’t be more grateful and more in awe of you than I am today. I love you so much Chris Poblete. Happy Father’s Day!
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👆Wrote this two years ago but I’ve seen this fleshed out on a million more occasions and it feels more fitting today than it even did back then.
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@chrispoblete
A stomach virus hit our home this week. It took us A stomach virus hit our home this week. It took us all by storm. Our schedules were cleared, our laundry pile turned into an avalanche (I’m not kidding it toppled out of all the  hampers as we used up every towel and switched out soiled outfits every couple hours), and we spent our days doing the dance between caretaker and patient depending on who was feeling worst. When I was at my weakest I had the best caretakers in the world, including little Haddon serenading me in bed. There is nothing better. 😍😭💛
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Sickness has a way of reminding us of our utter fragility. We are far more vulnerable than we care to admit. When our bodies break down, it thrusts us into the great reality that every ordinary day that our body functions as it should, it is an act of abundant mercy.
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Anyways, the Poblete family is sobered by the reality that our bodies, as intricate and incredible as they are, may not always serve us in the ways we hope in the days ahead and we are rejoicing in the gift of health we have today. 🙌💛
If you would have told me a few years ago that I’d be homeschooling my kids for the 2020/2021 school year, I would have shuddered. Nothing sounded less appealing to me.

But when it became plain that this move was the next right thing for us, there was grace there for the work ahead. 

What began as a duty quickly became one of my deepest delights.

We spent this last year learning how to read books and solve math equations. We wondered at God’s handiwork in the water cycle and our galaxy. We took countless nature hikes and trips to the zoo with friends. We prayed a whole lot and rehearsed phrases like “Pobletes do hard things” and “practice makes progress” over and over again. 

It was a good good year filled with grace and new expressions of dependence, and there is no one more shocked about it than me. #gracealone
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Homegoing is the online home of Alyssa Poblete, a writer in Southern California.

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